Many of us have a difficult relationship with food for many reasons. For me, growing up we often had little or no food in the house. I was yelled at if I was hungry and helped myself to something from the fridge because what we had was already accounted for in meals. As a parent now, I understand more where my parents were coming from, but at the same time, it’s left me as an adult struggling with various issues. When I go to visit someone and they tell me to help myself to food, I rarely do in case I eat something I’m not supposed to. Buffets are an absolute nightmare for me. 

While I don’t have an eating disorder, I do have problems with food which are classed as disordered eating. This is why I’m currently accessing support from the NHS to help me develop a better relationship with food. 

Eating properly is one of the fundamentals of self-care. Food is fuel! If your body doesn’t receive the appropriate nourishment, it develops all sorts of problems. Just skipping a single meal can have a negative impact on your mood and wellbeing. 

Since this is such a core basic, if you need to seek professional help with this, do it. I’ve been pleasantly surprised by how supportive the people I’ve worked with have been and how they’ve been proactively trying to find the right solution for me. 

Mindful eating

Mindful eating has been shown to help with digestion and weight loss, as well as help you make more positive choices about the food you choose and develop healthier habits. It can help you enjoy food more and appreciate what you’re eating, as well as help you identify your reasons for eating, so you know whether you are responding to hunger or there’s another motive at play. 

The process of eating mindfully can start from the moment you choose your food. This works better if you’re going to the shop in person, but you can still be mindful if you’re shopping online because mindfulness simply means to be fully present in the moment, doing something with total awareness. So if you’re shopping online, rather than clicking mindlessly on all the things you bought last time you ordered, take a moment to consider each item and think about whether this is something you need to add to your basket or not for whatever reason. You can even do this when you’re at a restaurant, considering each dish in turn. 

When practising mindful eating, keep your full attention on the task at hand, so don’t do it in conjunction with an another activity such as reading, checking your phone, watching TV, thinking about your to do list, etc. 

When choosing your food, take a moment to consider the health value of it. Rather than worrying about whether something is “good” or “bad”, consider what purpose the food will serve you. If you feel that you need some chocolate as a pick-me-up, buy some chocolate – but be aware of the reasons why you’re buying it so you can make an informed choice as to whether you really want to or not.

While you’re shopping or selecting from a menu, take a moment to feel grateful you have the privilege to do this. Give thanks for all the people who had a hand in getting that food to your plate, from the farmers who grew it to the people who picked it to the people who shipped it to the people who packaged it to the people who put it on the shelf or prepared it. Countless people have been part of the journey of your food to your plate, so feel grateful for all their hard work. 

When preparing your food, use all your senses. How does the food look? Smell? Feel? You can fill the food with love as you’re cooking to create soul food to feed your mind, body and spirit. Simply close your eyes for a moment, hold your hands over the food and imagine, visualise or simply know that you’re sending loving energy from your hands into the food. 

When you are reading to eat, take a moment to observe yourself before you start eating. How hungry are you? You should be at the right balance between feeling hungry enough to need sustenance but not so hungry you’re ravenous. Be aware of whether you’re eating because you need to fuel yourself or if there’s another reason at play, like boredom or you feel you ought to be eating. 

Now focus on how you’re sitting and where you’re sitting. Try to sit up straight but relaxed. Be aware of your surroundings but let them fade into the background as you focus on your meal. 

Take a moment to appreciate your food. Notice how it looks, how it smells. What feelings are you experiencing? 

When you are ready, take a bite. What’s the texture of the food? What can you taste? How does it make you feel? When you start to chew, notice how this changes the nature of the food and how that sensation feels. 

Observe how your reaction to the food gradually shifts. Are you starting to feel full? Do you need more food? Just sit with yourself and your experience without any urge to rush through your meal. 

You may like to put your knife and fork down between bites to give yourself pause to consider whether you feel full before picking them up again. Know that it’s okay not to finish everything on your plate if you feel full – let your stomach be in control rather than any notion of having to eat every single morsel. Eating mindfully usually means eating slower than usual, but this allows you to tune in to your body’s signals and appreciate every moment. 

When you’re done, you might like to take a moment to feel grateful for the meal you just ate.  

It doesn’t take much to see that mindful eating can be quite a long process and it isn’t always possible to be mindful of absolutely everything you eat. But the more you can incorporate at least some aspects of this process into your eating habits, the more you’ll become aware of your food and how it fuels your body, even if it’s just taking a moment to consider your reasons for eating and questioning whether there’s something else you can do if you’re not actually hungry. Or if you’re grabbing a quick bite at your desk because you haven’t got time for a proper lunch, maybe you could give yourself five minutes to be fully focused on your food instead of dealing with emails and phone calls while you’re eating. Five minutes out of the work day is not going to put you behind – if anything, it will make you more productive. 

Food can be a great comfort instead of a source of stress and anxiety if you are mindful about it. The more you can slow the process down, focus completely on the task at hand and listen to your body’s needs, the more enjoyment you’ll experience and you’ll naturally develop more control over your dietary habits without it becoming pressured, unhealthy or difficult.