I’ve never liked labelling any emotion as negative. Sure, emotions can be scary. Emotions can be overwhelming. Emotions can result in self-destructive behaviours. 

But emotions are also incredibly useful, yes, even the negative ones. 

When I started my treatment for PTSD, I discovered just how out of touch with my emotions I was. It sounds crazy, right? Not knowing how you feel. I mean, why wouldn’t you know how you feel emotionally about something? 

Yet emotions are frequently frowned upon in our society. We’re told that real men don’t cry while conversely women are too hysterical. We’re taught that emotions are an inconvenience from childhood – how many of us were told “you stop crying right now or I’ll give you something to really cry about?”

Building a connection with your emotions is one of the most precious gifts you can give yourself. It’s an important part of self-care to learn how to work with your emotions rather than against them, ignoring them, or locking them up in a box so they won’t bother you. The problem is that emotions are an innate part of us. They won’t go away, no matter how much we might want them to. And if you attempt to bottle them up for long enough, they’ll break out at a really inconvenient moment. 

There are many reasons why allowing yourself to feel your emotions is important. Here’s just a handful: 

You can’t have highs without the lows. 

You can’t cut yourself off from some emotions and not others. If you’re doing your best to avoid feeling sad or angry, you’ll also avoid those wonderful feelings of happiness and joy. The human experience involves the full range of emotions. Experiencing and appreciating those so-called negative emotions is what makes the positive ones so amazing. 

You might find it helpful to remember that nothing last forever. However you’re feeling in this moment, it will pass and another emotion will arise to take its place. Those emotions allow you to grow and develop into the person you are and will be. 

Suppressing your emotions only delays the inevitable, prolonging the agony

Avoiding your feelings stops you living life to the full

Constantly trying to run away from your emotions is exhausting. All your energy is focused on trying to stop the flow of emotional expression instead of dealing with what’s going on and developing healthy coping strategies. Working with your anger, pain, sadness, hurt, etc. allows you to experience all of life’s rich tapestry. And when you have processed those difficult emotions, you’ll find that you’ve cleared the way for better ones to flow through. 

There are a number of ways in which you can start working with your emotions instead of against them:

• Journal through your emotions. By regularly examining how you’re feeling and why, you can begin to explore your various triggers and think of ways in which to work with your feelings. 
• Breathe. The simple act of connecting to your breath can help you connect with your emotions and allow them to pass naturally instead of trying to hide them away. 
• Seek professional help if need be. Sometimes we need outside support to work through whatever it is that’s making us feel a certain way. Having help can speed the healing process and enable you to understand yourself better. 
• Practice loving kindness meditation. This will help you develop more compassion towards yourself and others. When you are kind to yourself, you allow yourself to feel and sit with those feelings as you need to process what’s going on. 
• Come to a chakra dance meditation class. Mindful movement while working through the body’s natural energy centres can help release emotional blocks and allow yourself to process difficult emotions in a safe space. 
• Join me for a journey through the chakras. This day retreat will take you through a series of powerful meditations and exercises, helping you to develop greater self-awareness and an understanding of why you feel the way you feel.