You don’t need me to tell you that today is Valentine’s Day. Everywhere you turn you’re reminded of the date and its significance.

Whether you’re in a relationship or you’re single, the most important form of love to celebrate today is the love you hold for yourself. All healthy relationships stem from a place of strong self-love. The more you can love and respect yourself, the more you’ll attract the same from others. 

So in honour of yourself, here is a little ritual for self-love you can do this Valentine’s Day. (And every one in the future!)

A ritual for self-love

Before you start, get yourself a gift, something which will make you smile and is the kind of thing someone who knows you really well would get. It doesn’t have to be expensive – heck, you could go out and pick yourself a bouquet of snowdrops from the garden. But make sure you have something you can offer to yourself in recognition of your worthiness and wrap it up beautifully. The more care and attention you pour into this, the more you demonstrate to yourself how much you deserve that kind of love. 

Set up your sacred space. You might like to do this ritual in your bedroom or you might have somewhere special you go to do your work. I have a dedicated temple in my garden, but if you don’t have somewhere you can set aside for ritual work, just make sure you clear out the space and make it welcoming and ready for this important ritual.

You might like to set up a little altar as the focus for your work. You could put your gift in the centre of the altar with a candle or two and light some incense or burn some essential oil. Again, it’s all about doing something special in honour of yourself. Likewise, you might like to have a shower or bath before you start your ritual, washing away any negativity you might be feeling about yourself before you start. 

If you have any Oracle or Tarot cards, take your deck, shuffle it, and ask the cards what do I need to know right now to help me show more self-love? Place that card in the centre of your altar. 

When you are ready, close your eyes and turn your attention to your breath. Do a few cycles of deep breathing to bring yourself into the moment. When you are ready, declare your intention by saying, “I celebrate myself. I honour myself. I love myself. I do this ritual in recognition of the powerful feelings I hold for myself.”

Start your ritual by journaling to explore how you feel about yourself. Be honest. Ask yourself questions like:

• Am I where I want to be in my life?
• What would I like to be different?
• What has been holding me back? Am I ready to release these things?
• Am I willing to bring more self-love into my life on a regular basis?
• How can I bring more self-love into my life? 

When you have done this, you’re going to get moving to release those things you have identified as a block to your future happiness. Put on a positive, upbeat song which makes you want to dance. I love Lizzo’s Good As Hell – not only is it a great song, I have a lot of positive memories associated with it, so when I dance to it, I remember dancing around with friends as we all celebrated the cool new things we were looking to manifest. 

You might even like to dance to a few songs – take as long as you need to lift your mood and leave the past behind. This is your ritual, so you get to spend as long as you like dancing around, shifting your energies. 

When you are ready, go back to your journal and write a love letter to yourself. Make sure you go into all the things that are uniquely awesome about you. If you are struggling with this part, here are a few prompts to get you started:

• I’m so proud of you for…
• Look how far you’ve come. You have…
• I’m so grateful that you…
• I love you because…
• I forgive you for…
• You are so powerful for…
• I’m so sorry I…
• I’m going to celebrate you every day by…

Feel free to refer back to this letter every time you need to remind yourself of how amazing you are. 

Now take the Oracle card you picked at the start of the ritual. Sit with the message of that card. You might like to journal about how it makes you feel and the messages you think it holds for you. Open yourself up to the universe and listen to the advice it has for you moving forward. 

Finish your ritual with a meditation. You might like to meditate on the meaning of your Oracle card or you could do a loving kindness meditation. 

Now you may open your gift to yourself. Spend a moment really feeling gratitude that this present has come into your life and you have something which shows how much you value yourself. 

Close by writing down any final observations you want to keep a record of. Then formally close your ritual by turning your attention back to your breath. Inhale deeply and on the exhale say “I am loved.” Inhale deeply and on this exhale say “I am loving.” With a final inhale and exhale, say “I am love.” 

Declare your ritual at an end by saying, “I have celebrated my love for myself and I will continue to do this every single day. This is my promise to myself.” If you lit candles, snuff them out. 

One gift you might like to offer yourself is a place on the Journey Through The Chakras retreat on 26 February. We will be exploring the notion of self-love at the heart chakra, working on opening yourself up to receiving as much as you give and more. I’d love to see you there!