As you work with gratitude, it becomes easier to find things to list when you think about what you’re currently grateful for. However, this might be an easy exercise to do when life is going well, but what about when you hit a rough patch? 

Focusing on nothing but the positive and not allowing yourself to feel anything supposedly negative leads to toxic positivity which builds up all sorts of spiritual and emotional blocks. The reality is that it’s okay to feel down when you’re going through tough times. It’s a perfectly normal response. Allowing yourself to feel those emotions rather than suppressing them enables you to process them so much faster. 

With hindsight, it becomes easier to look at these situations. You can see the positive things which arose from your challenges. As Marcus Aurelius says, “the obstacle becomes the way.” Losing a job makes space for an even better one or a total change of career. A relationship ending opens your heart for someone better suited to you.

A difficult situation has a lesson to offer and when you can identify and learn it, while those hardships are still not fun, it becomes easier to get through it. After all, without the darkness, light would have no meaning. 

This meditation is best done by starting small. This is why I’ve waited to introduce it until you’ve had a chance to establish a gratitude practise, so you’re familiar with the concept of embracing the feeling of being thankful. I wouldn’t advise starting this when you’re in the middle of a negative experience (although you might find it comforting). Instead, do it at a time when you’re feeling pretty good about life, but have one or two things you’d like to see improve.

Find somewhere quiet to sit where you won’t be disturbed and make yourself comfortable. Focus on your breath and simply observe it for a few cycles, grounding and centring yourself. 

When you feel ready, think of something which is bothering you. Start with a minor irritation, such as your partner always using your favourite mug.  

Think about the situation and start to list the positive aspects of it. So, if your partner is using your mug, the positive is that you are in a relationship with someone you love. Maybe they use the mug because they associate it with you and like to feel close to you, so another positive is that you are with someone who loves you. Yet another is the fact that you have a home and can make a drink for yourself any time you like. Try and think of as many positives as you can, but even if you can only come up with one, that’s more than enough to establish this practice. 

When you’ve run out of things you can be grateful for, move on to something else which annoys you a little. Repeat the process, coming up with positive aspects to whatever it is. 

There will times when it is difficult to think of anything and that’s okay. You should never judge yourself for feeling the way you feel. Maybe do a different meditation and come back to this another day. This is a challenging technique, but as you start to work on finding the positive within the negative, it will become easier and easier. That positive mindset will become your natural default setting, which will help you to feel happier and more content in other areas of your life. 

What are you grateful for today? Let me know in the comments!