Valentine’s Day is upon us, and with it, glitzy red love hearts are all around.

Although the festival is generally understood to be about romantic love, I don’t see any reason we can’t also celebrate the energy and transformation compassionate love can bring. Wouldn’t it be great if everyone showed love for others by donating to a charity, for example? And how about love for ourselves?

Self-love can be the hardest love of all. Are you able to show the same love to yourself as you are to a best friend? Are you as patient with your flaws as you are with loved ones?

I went to a workshop by William Bloom and he worked through this one exercise with us. It was a revelation!

He told us:

“Close your eyes, and then make your eyes kind. Imagine you are looking at a crying child, or a sick animal, and look at them with kindness. Feel your eyes become kind. Now turn them on yourself. Look at yourself with the same kindness. How does that feel?”

It was incredible. I suddenly saw my body as a powerhouse! It had got me up, got me to the workshop – and achieves SO much every day. It helps me parent, takes me to my studying, my work, my volunteering. My mind juggled all sorts of things and pretty much came out on top every day.

When I looked upon myself with the same compassion as I looked on others, I could see my achievements rather than my failings. It was an incredible feeling.

Another powerful practice is the Buddhist practice of metta bhavana or the Loving Kindness meditation. A beautiful practice to cultivate over time, it sends love to yourself and then to others.

Here’s the version that we work with in my meditation group:

Loving Kindness Meditation

In your mind’s eye, visualise a loved one. With each breath, fill your heart with love for your loved one. Imagine your heart like a glowing light, shining brighter with each breath, as it fills with love, or a cup that overflows as you fill it with compassion and loving kindness.

And now gently put that image to one side, but keep that love in your heart,

And give it to yourself.

And as you give yourself that love, say

May I be safe

May I be happy

May I be healthy

May I live with ease.

And then again, to yourself, that love overflowing as you say those words.

Now bring back the image of your loved one, and let that love flow for them, and say

May you be safe

May you be happy

May you be healthy

May you live with ease

An image of someone neutral next. This can be a lesson in how we judge people. Is there really anyone that we feel truly neutral about, even if we just say good morning to them in the street? Visualise that someone, and repeat the words to them also, while you send that love to their spirit.

May you be safe

May you be happy

May you be healthy

May you live with ease

The next image is a difficult one. It is to bring an image of someone who is a negative influence in your life, and send the love to them. My advice to you is to keep yourself comfortable while you get used to this practice. Don’t necessarily go straight to the most hurtful person in your life. Love yourself enough to honour your own boundaries here and keep yourself safe. Repeat the words to them while you hold their image in your mind’s eye.

May you be safe

May you be happy

May you be healthy

May you live with ease

Let them go! Bring forth the feel of your neighbourhood and community. Send love and say

May we be safe

May we be happy

May we be healthy

May we live with ease.

Sometimes I separate community and neighbourhood and work with those feelings separately. If you are part of a group of likeminded souls who are valuable to you, you may wish to work with them as a separate energy to your neighbourhood.

Finally, the whole planet. Reach out with your consciousness across every continent and through all the oceans, to every sentient being on Earth. Breathe. Let that cup of love overflow. Send that love out and say

May we be safe

May we be happy

May we be healthy

May we ALL live with ease

Stay here a little while and feel that love move from you to the world around you. When you are ready, gently bring your consciousness back to your heart, feel that powerful energy there, and bring yourself back into your environment.

Sending you so much love this Valentine’s week.

Have you tried a Loving Kindness meditation? How did it make you feel? What will you do to bring love to yourself this Valentine’s? Share your story in the comments.