I read a lot of self-help books. I’m sure you’re very surprised to hear that(!).

I like books which are practical so I can actually implement what they’re saying into my every day life. Knowledge in books stay in books unless you do something to actually assimilate that information through action. 

I started a new book today and in the introduction it discussed the subject of what makes a success. It talked about ‘winning’ at life and how achieving your goals is the most possible fun you can have. While I’m all for setting goals and then smashing them, when I got to the exercise for the chapter, I knew that this was one instance where I wasn’t going to do what the book told me to do.

The instructions were to make a list of friends and family and then rate them as successes or failures based on whether they’d achieved their goals. 

I have a huge issue with this for so many reasons. We talk a lot about failures in our society and I’ve never liked it. We call a relationship ‘failed’ when it ends, but why does ending have to equate failure? Why can’t it simply be that the relationship served its purpose and now it’s time for something new? And if it’s served its purpose, surely that’s a success, not a failure? What if that relationship gave you the final piece of the puzzle so you could figure out what you truly want in a soulmate and lead to you meeting the love of your life? Surely that’s not a failure? 

And what about someone who chooses not to pursue their ambitions because they want to raise a family or they have a loved one who’s sick and needs a carer? Have they failed because they devoted themselves to serving others rather than sacrificing time with family to build a high flying career? 

I don’t think so. 

I have big goals and dreams. I have had all my life. Some of them I’ve fulfilled and some are still a work in progress. Have I failed because I can’t tick off every single item on my manifestation list yet? Or have I succeeded because I’ve had some amazing experiences while I’ve been riding this rollercoaster we call life? 

I’ll let you decide. 

But I want you to consider this: If you’re alive, you’re winning at life. It might not feel like that at times. Maybe you suffer from mental illness or chronic pain. Maybe you’ve lost your job or even your home. Maybe right now you might feel like you’re falling into a bottomless pit and you’ll never be able to climb out of it. 

But the one constant thing in life is change. If you’re here, you’re making an impact, whether it feels like it or not. You are making the world a better place just by being you. 

You matter. You have a purpose in being here. And even if you haven’t figured out what your purpose is yet, you’re still fulfilling it through the simple fact of your presence on this planet. 

So keep being you. Keep being a winner. 

Speaking of goals, I’m about to achieve one of my long term ambitions with the release of my very first single on my birthday! It would be the best birthday present if you could have a listen to A Moment Of Clarity, a track written for my chakra dance classes and inspired by the third eye chakra. You can presave it right now and be among the first to hear it when it drops. Thank you so much!