And so it’s the end of an era with the passing of Queen Elizabeth II. 

As with any major event, the internet’s heavily divided. Half are mourning the loss of the only monarch they’ve ever known (and only British Queen they’re ever likely to know) while the other half are talking about how they won’t mourn for [insert political reason here].

For me, my reaction is a little more personal. I’m pretty ambivalent when it comes to the royal family. I can see it has pros and cons. The Queen was a figurehead, a representative of the land. It’s no surprise to me that a rainbow was seen over Windsor Castle and Buckingham Palace after her death. The loss of a ruler with such a long life of service was going to be marked by the country in more ways than one. 

But for me, I can’t help but think a little more personally about it all. 

Elizabeth II was a mother, grandmother, sister and aunt. There will be a family mourning her loss who will struggling to imagine what life will be like without her. On a human level, I feel for those people. 

But there will be those out there who have also lost a close loved one at this time. Princess Diana died 3 days before my mum did (and was buried on my birthday) and I will always remember that I couldn’t get the specific flowers I wanted for my mum’s funeral because so many people were buying up flowers for Diana, someone they didn’t know, someone who was as flawed as every other person and not the perfect angel she became in death. 

I feel for those people who have also just lost their own mum, grandmother, aunt, or sister. Those people who may not be recently bereaved but have had their grief triggered by the loss of the Queen. Those people for whom this death has far greater personal implications than they perhaps expected. 

So if you’re finding yourself going through a strange mix of emotions and can’t figure out why, the chances are that what you’re experiencing is grief. Grief is a very misunderstood emotion which can rear its head at the most unexpected of times. It reminds us that nothing can last forever and this too will pass. We will lose important people in our life, never to get them back again. And it’s okay to feel sad about this loss. 

Give yourself permission to feel however you feel. Maybe you’re angry because it’s brought up memories of a loss which wasn’t as peaceful or dignified. You might be sad or tearful. You might feel lost or adrift. Whatever emotions you’re feeling right now, simply let your experience be your experience and understand there’s nothing wrong with you or your feelings. 

And if you need to talk, you are very welcome to email me – info@neptunesdaughter.co.uk 

I’m here for you.