Watch Your Tone
Self-Care February Day 23: Be more positive in your self-talkThe one person who is always there for you is you. But for some of us, instead of being your biggest cheerleader, your inner critic is always there, trying to drag you down. This can make the inside of your head a very lonely place to be.
Here are some simple steps you can take to switch up the way you talk to yourself so you can feel more confident and positive about yourself.
1. Watch Your Language
We often think that we have no control over our thoughts, that they come whether we want them to or not. The reality is that you are not your thoughts and you can decide to change what you’re thinking at any time. The first step to effecting change is to be aware that something needs to change in the first place. Start being more conscious of what you’re thinking. You can let negativity and criticism go – as soon as you observe yourself saying something bad about yourself you can imagine those thoughts floating away like clouds off into the sky, letting the sun shine in instead. Replace any negative thoughts with their positive counterpart. This might be difficult at first, but if you really, really can’t say something nice to yourself, try saying something like “I am working towards being the best person I can be.” We’re all a work in progress. None of us will ever be perfect, so all we can do is try.
2. Use the second person
I know, I know, it can sound pretentious to refer to yourself by your name, but nobody knows what’s going on in your head or what names you call yourself. If you find yourself beating yourself up and referring to yourself in the first person, e.g. “why am I so useless?” you may be compounding those feelings of negativity. Instead, try asking yourself “why do you feel so useless?” Doing this creates some emotional distance between yourself and your emotions and you can start dissecting those feelings to see that you’re not useless at all – far from it.
3. Switch “I don’t” for “I can’t”
Research carried out at the University of Houston shows that people who say “I don’t” about unwanted behaviours were able to resist temptation better than those who say “I can’t.” “I can’t” is a very negative way of talking about your desired actions – it suggests you are being limited and held back. Saying “I don’t” is far more empowering – it has connotations of self-control and reminds you that you are the one who gets to choose how you think and behave. So if you find yourself saying negative things about yourself, you can simply say to yourself “I don’t think that way about myself.”
4. Prove yourself wrong
If you find yourself saying to yourself “I always mess up” or “bad things always happen to me” counter this by thinking of an example of when this wasn’t true. The more you can demonstrate to yourself that you aren’t the bad person you’ve been telling yourself you are, the easier it is to choose more positive thoughts and behaviours in the future.
Today is the very last day you can join us on the Journey Through The Chakras retreat. You will need to email me at info@neptunesdaughter.co.uk if you want to come along. Hope to see you on Saturday!